Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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