I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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