8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Four minutes until I can fart!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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