just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
