honey bunches of taint.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
