Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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