i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
bring money and cleavage
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
