I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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