brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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