My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
