Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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