Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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