It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
