there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
