I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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