dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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