You work out of a Hotel?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
