Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
