i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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