You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize