Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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