I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
