That's intense
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
