your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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