he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
