i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
