chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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