I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
