I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Randomize
