is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This is the high leading the old right now
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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