Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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