real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
