I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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