At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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