Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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