I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize