I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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