why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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