On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
