Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
