We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
