Pappa wants mamma naked
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
two words: eviction party
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
