Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
