a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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