I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
