Kiss
Puke
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
