Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize