pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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