Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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