it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
