first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
