Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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