is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
