she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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