Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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