Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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