if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
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