whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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